In a social setting , especially with people I just met or not particularly close to, some of them find my silence uncomfortable. A few of them get offended. The former is painful when they badger me with empty chatter and the latter is plain mind-boggling. The latter is an interesting bunch because oddly, these are the same people who like conjuring drama wherever they go and like to talk about people. This is probably a hasty generalization based on observation and a couple of personal experiences.
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I'm more forgiving with the former; the latter, I feel, need to be reminded that there are introverts, people who have social anxiety, and shy individuals sharing the world with them. If they refuse to understand, I am tempted to pull off a Red Wedding stint and make a pyre out of their remains.
Here's a couple of reasons why I prefer to be quiet:
- I am physically/mentally/ emotionally exhausted. I'm not in the mood for any type of interaction or conversation. Nothing personal.
- If you're talking about celebrities and their latest scandal/ drama/ relationship/ sexual identity/ what they had for dinner, I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
- I absolutely know when you're phishing for compliments or pity. I don't bite that bait.
- Please check if you've been talking about yourself for the past hour.
- There are people that I immediately click with and there are people I cannot relate to. You may have fallen in the latter category. Again, nothing personal.
- I don't hate talkative people. It's people who fill the air with mindless chatter that makes me want to astral project. No, I don't want to hear about your hot boyfriend, your bowel movements, the expensive and impractical gifts your parents got you or how you traveled all the way to Paris coz your hairstylist lives there. You know what else we can talk about? Ideas. Movies. Music. Books. Maybe even have an argument about piracy and copyright if you wanna get down and dirty.
- Sometimes, I just like to clear my head by embracing the silence. I call it Wallflower Mode.
- Once in a while, I am plotting someone's death in my head. Don't worry, I never carry these ideas out IRL.
You're always welcome to share the silence and awkwardness.