Friday, May 30, 2014

Notes From My Personal Life #39: Keep Breathing

  It's the second week of school and I am ready to just flip tables.

 It feels like I'm so way behind, I can't remember all the important theories and key concepts that I need to know for the majors I'm taking up. Readings are piling up one after the other. My highlighter has been getting more workouts than I am and there are moments that anxiety is this close to paralyzing me.

 My dad says I just need to put in a little more work in re-learning everything and study smarter. I could easily say that I was on leave for a long time which is why I'm having a hard time but I know I'm responsible for catching up on everything I have to know beforehand. Sometimes the pressure to do well in school makes my brain go on overdrive and in the end I feel like I haven't done enough. That I can't be enough. And the professors I have this term have expectations that I want to live up to. I'm usually optimistic when it comes to schoolwork and responsibilities.

 I have to keep telling myself to breathe lately. Sometimes I get nervous for class to the point I'm shaking. It's ridiculous but it happens. I'm still adjusting to the mental pressure and the pace of it all. I'm trying to figure out the best way to cope with everything.

 Some nights I pray for clarity and the courage to get up and face the next challenge.

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